The Great Switcheroo
by Irrepressable
Summary: Kagome is PMSing, Sesshomaru is hung over, and Kirara has a hairball problem. Things can't any worse, right? WRONG! Kagome and Sesshomaru switch bodies! And what the heck is up with Naraku! Rated M for language. On haitus for who knows how long.
1. Chapter 1 When It All Hits The Fan

Chapter 1- When It All Hits The Fan

Kagome yawned as she woke up from a good night's sleep. She sat up straight and surveyed her surroundings. '_That's funny_,' she thought, '_I don't remember falling asleep against a tree_.'

Shrugging it off, she discovered that her big yellow backpack was missing. '_Inuyasha must have taken it. Right now, he's probably rifling through it for ramen_.'

Kagome sweatdropped, for she was certain that Inuyasha would make a colossal mess. She sighed and stood up. It seemed she would have to wear her pajamas until she could find Inuyasha and get her clothes. She knew that her period would be starting soon, which explained why she woke up with a headache. '_But why do my pants feel a little tight? I don't feel bloated_…'

All of a sudden, she felt compelled to look down. The fact she was wearing boots and that her hand was pale and clawed didn't seem important when she saw the tenting the front of her pants. (A/N rhetorical question: do demons get 'morning wood'?) There was a spring only a few yards away. She rushed over and splashed water in her face, trying to wake herself up from what she thought was a bad dream. She looked down into the water. When the ripples cleared, the reflection staring back at her was not her own. It was a familiar, devastatingly handsome male face, framed by silver hair_. 'Stripes, crescent moon, golden eyes… OH CRAP!!_'

Those were the last thoughts to go through Kagome's mind before her eyes rolled back into her head and she fell to the ground in a dead faint.

* * *

Not far away, Sesshomaru was also waking up to a nasty headache. The great demon turned away from the bright morning light and massaged his aching temples. His first thought upon waking up was _'I should never have opened that twelfth bottle of sake_.'

(A/N: You guessed correctly. Our favorite sexy demon lord has a hangover. Bad Sesshy! I'm just guessing, but it probably _would _take a lot of alcohol to get Sesshomaru wasted.)

If the indignity of a hangover wasn't bad enough, the loud, obnoxious shout of "Oi, wench! Where's breakfast?" was torture to his already pounding headache. Irritated beyond words, Sesshomaru turned around to face his despised half-brother. Normally he would have showed more restraint, but he was busy dealing with a massive headache, and his lower abdomen felt as if he was receiving a continuous kick to the groin. Right now, he was just too pissed to put up with Inuyasha, or even wonder how he came to be in the company of the fool. He growled irritably at the whelp, snapped "Silence, half-breed!" and stormed away.

* * *

"What the hell is wrong with Kagome?" Inuyasha snorted

Ever the peacemaker, Miroku reassured his friend. "Calm down, Inuyasha! It is likely that Lady Kagome's behavior is the result of her 'little friend's' impending visit."

"You mean Myoga?" asked a perplexed Inuyasha.

Slightly irked, Miroku tried once again to explain. "I am referring to the little friend that visits her once a month."

"You mean that Hojo guy?"

"No," the now clearly annoyed monk replied, "I mean the little friend that makes staying in her company difficult for you."

"Aw, crap! Is it the night of the new moon already?"

One lost temper and several staff-shaped concussions later...

"So the new moon isn't tonight," said Inuyasha, "Hmm... Hey, Miroku, was my flea bath the little friend you were talking about?"

Once more, the monk's staff became acquainted with the dog boy's cranium. The hapless half-demon attempted to seek aid from Sango. "SANGO! Who the hell is the little friend of Kagome's that Miroku is talking about?"

The demon slayer looked up from her game of go-fish with Shippo and replied, "She's on her period, you moron."

Inuyasha turned red at the mention of Kagome's feminine cycling and muttered, "Keh. Whatever."

* * *

Sesshomaru walked through the woods, trying to ignore the pounding between his ears. 'Damn them,' he thought to himself, 'damn that foolish half-breed, damn the formal invitations, damn the partying, damn the sake, and damn this blasted hangover!'

The pissed-off demon lord continued toward his destination. It wasn't long before he could hear the trickling of a nearby spring. As he exited the forest, he stopped in his tracks when he saw what was on the other side of the stream.

* * *

Kagome regained consciousness. 'That's funny,' she thought, 'I had the strangest dream that I had somehow turned into Sesshomaru!'

The girl stood up and saw someone approaching from the treeline. A cloud moved, causing the sunlight to land directly on her face. Kagome winced, clenching her eyes shut. She massaged her temples and, when the pounding subsided, she opened her eyes and was faced with the shock of her life. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open when she saw who was standing on the other side of the stream. '_I'f I'm over here... THEN WHO THE HELL IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREAM?!_'

* * *

Sesshomaru was unable to contain his shock. He could see himself standing on the other side of the stream! Unwittingly, he placed a hand over his pounding heart. To his surprise and horror, what his palm met wasn't his armor-clad torso, but wat was undeniably a pair of breasts. He looked down at his reflection and, instead of seeing his own glorious visage, the sight that met him made his eyes widen and his jaw drop. '_Inuyasha's wench?!_'

The two of them looked back up and met one-another's eyes. Although neither of them had anyway of knowing what the other was thinking, the thought that went through both minds at that instant was the same. '_Oh shit_.'

* * *

Well, that was wrong on many levels. Fortunately for those of you who were amused by this, the Authoress is already insane. Next time- Kagome and Sesshomaru have to put their heads together to figure their problem out, Inu throws a tantrum when Shippo suggests a remedy for the situation, and just where the hell are Rin and Jaken?!


	2. Chapter 2 Murphy's Law

Chapter II- Murphy's Law

Sesshomaru wanted answers and he wanted them _now!_ "Woman," He intoned icily, "You will relinquish my body."

Once again Kagome was confounded by the demon's arrogance. Balling her hands- hand, actually- into a fist, she stepped towards him and snapped, "Oh, so you think this is _my _fault?!"

"I have no desire for your weak human body." replied Sesshomaru.

Kagome placed her hands- whoops, er, hand- on her hip. "Oh, excuse me, Mister Glacial!" the girl remarked sarcastically, "I can barely use my powers, but somehow I was able to switch bodies with you because, for some inexplicable reason, I wanted you inside me!"

The icy demon lord could not help but raise an eyebrow at the girl's choice of words. Said girl quickly realized what she had said and took a hasty step backwards. "I did NOT mean that how it sounded!"

Sesshomaru heard what she said, but his attention was mainly focused on the question of why his mind had decided to take a sudden trip to the gutter.

* * *

Meanwhile

* * *

"For crying out loud, Inuyasha, just take a bite! Kagome made this in her Home Ec. class!"

"NO WAY!" cried the red-clad ragamuffin from his arboreal perch, "I ain't eatin' it!"

Miroku sat on a tree stump and massaged his temples. Disregarding the background noise caused by Sango and Shippo pleading their half-demon friend to take a taste of the 'flan' that a certain currently absent futuristic teenager had made in one of her classes. A child's voice in the background shouted, "Come on, Inuyasha! You can't stay up there forever!"

Not even looking, Miroku flung a rock over his shoulder as he dug through Kagome's backpack. The sound of a scream and a thud was ignored as the monk found what he was looking for. From the bag he extracted a vase-like contraption and a zip-loc baggie of some dried herbs...

* * *

By now, Kagome and Sesshomaru had somehow come to an agreement that they would have to stick together for the time being. Upon returning to camp, the sight that greeted her was... unexpected. Sango was trying to clean flan out of Shippo's hair, Inuyasha was lying unconscious under a tree with swirly eyes and an anime-style lump on his head, and Miroku was smoking from a bong.

Kagome sweatdropped and said, "Do I even _want_ to know what happened?"

Upon hearing the voice of his detested half-brother, Inuyasha sprang to his feet and shouted angrily. "Sessh- OOF!"

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) as the demi-canine jumped, his head came into contact with a conveniently placed tree limb and he was knocked unconscious yet again. Everybody sweatdropped except for Miroku, who was busy raiding Kagome's potato chip stash.

* * *

Elsewhere...

Well, this is an interesting development. The girl and Sesshomaru have switched bodies. Perhaps I can play this to my advantage... kukuk-*COUGH*

"Perhaps you should not monologue with your mouth full, Mastar Naraku?"

Ahem. Go to your room, Kohaku.

"It is my turn to get the groceries"

Sigh. Go, then. Leave me be! Oh, and while you're at it, go pick up my athlete's foot medication at the pharmacy.

"Yes, Mastar Naraku."

Now, then. Where was I? Ah, yes. The body switching. Perhaps I can play this to my advanta- Hey, who are you? How did you get in here? What are you- ?! What?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

"Okay, now that we've bound and gagged a certain bipolar dog demon, we can actually discuss this like adults."

"Miroku, Shippo's right here!"

Miroku, having a moment of foresight, ducked to avoid getting hit. "That's not what I meant! Anyway, have either of you any idea of what may have caused this curse?"

"Perhaps it was an intricate plot on the authoress's part designed to imbue an ordinary situation with double entendres, drug humor, and jokes pertaining to the intricate ironies of the gender gap?" Inuyasha suggested, having chewed through the gag only moments ago.

Everyone just stared at him. Heck, even Seshomaru's jaw had hit the floor! Realizing the complexity of his prior words, the flustered Inuyasha said, "I mean, uh, feh!"

Fortunately for Inuyasha, the ever-merciful authoress of this fanfic swooped in and saved his ass with a distraction.

"OMFG!!! FFXII COSPLAY!!!"

No, not _that_ distraction! The other one! Sigh.

Shippo suddenly gave a strange giggle and said, "I feel funny!"

The young fox demon then bounced around the campsite, giggling all the while. He was going so fast, he was barely visible as an orange blur! "What's going on?!" demanded Kagome, glaring at everyone.

Sesshomaru noticed four strange metallic cyllinders on the ground and picked one up. It was white and blue with a scarlet charging bull on it. Kagome noticed this and slapped her forehead. "All right, who gave Shippo the Red Bull?"

"WHEEEEE!!! ILIKECHOCOLATEANDSUGARANDSODAANDPOCKY!!!!!!"

And that was when Murphy's Law struck with Kagome's next discovery. "They're all empty!"

"Damn." commented Inuyasha, "Where's a plot twist when you need one?"

* * *

I promise, the next one WILL be longer! It took long enough for me to get over the stumbling block for this one!

Next Time: Things get stranger when Kirara starts coughing up hairballs, Sesshomaru has to deal with Kagome's "girl problems", Shippo suggests a radical solution to Sess & Kag's predicament, and the shit hits the fan for Naraku.


End file.
